tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post251909120350653292..comments2021-03-15T14:29:06.488-04:00Comments on "Where's Baby Lily, Mommy?": # 35: MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, "FEAR THE LIVING, NOT THE DEAD."by Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12620656009462393047noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-28490901744908557722013-03-16T10:40:56.006-04:002013-03-16T10:40:56.006-04:00Hi Anon,
Thanks for reading and for your comment. ...Hi Anon,<br />Thanks for reading and for your comment. I could never go through adoption again either. Some people think I'm generalizing an individual experience unfairly regarding the whole institution of adoption, but unless someone brought a true orphan to my doorstep, I just can't be involved. Jenniferhttp://www.abortedadoption.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-85596295769984144322013-03-16T07:14:55.892-04:002013-03-16T07:14:55.892-04:00We are infertile and we felt the same way you did....We are infertile and we felt the same way you did. We hoped the baby would stay in the family born into. And we did tell everyone in the hospital room that. We told them that nobody knew we were there except them and the agency and if they decided to parent we are very strong and have been through many ordeals. We would be ok, so don't think of us at all. Just think about your baby and you. It gives us a bit of comfort that we said that. But still. We identify with so much of you talk of. Adoption is traumatic and there is no way to pretty it. We dream of siblings for our child but we will not adopt again. It's just too traumatic. We luckily do have open contact with her first families and see them. It would have been dreadful for us all to not even have an email to communicate directly. I totally do not understand how anyone can adopt and not feel the true trauma and tragedy of it all. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-33715570606601984712012-06-07T22:15:51.922-04:002012-06-07T22:15:51.922-04:00I'm new here.
How long do we have to wait for ...I'm new here.<br />How long do we have to wait for the next installment?<br />(Thanks for sharing your story.)Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16290955063080409603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-88233491825319921332012-06-05T16:09:03.303-04:002012-06-05T16:09:03.303-04:00Just found your blog and am on the edge of my seat...Just found your blog and am on the edge of my seat to read what happened next! And I feel a little bad saying that, because obviously it was traumatic (for many people).Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07614553637265139846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-71622182948677031422012-06-05T07:38:24.999-04:002012-06-05T07:38:24.999-04:00It's such a relief to read a prospective adopt...It's such a relief to read a prospective adoptive parents view that does not involve extreme entitlement attitude. I've read so many PAP blogs and comments that are incredibly lacking in compassion and empathy for the mother. It's all about them and their wants as if they're shopping for a puppy.<br /><br />Being in the room with a mother during labor and delivery is not only inappropriate, it's coercive. IMO, just making this "plan" for the mother during her pregnancy is coercive. The planning shouldn't even begin until after the baby is born and she's had real time with her baby. I think it's not only better for the mother and baby, but more fair to the PAPs.<br /><br />Like someone said above, I wish all prospective adoptive parents felt as you do.Carlynne Hershberger, CPSAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365785230628216814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-89242411859502015752012-06-04T14:23:07.427-04:002012-06-04T14:23:07.427-04:00I'm arriving at your blog for the first time! ...I'm arriving at your blog for the first time! Really enjoying reading this. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story.BumbersBumblingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15804403640550027122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-26168859613611938322012-06-04T01:37:49.463-04:002012-06-04T01:37:49.463-04:00"To this day, Tom and I cannot understand how..."To this day, Tom and I cannot understand how any prospective adoptive parents could feel otherwise."<br /><br />I think it depends on the situation, both the adoptive parents' situation and the birth parents' situation. I think it is different for people who already have children, whether by birth or adoption. I remember, before we adopted our son, my arms literally ached for my child. When we were in the process of adopting our daughter, I always had our son to love and hold. It still hurt, not having our family completed, but it was different. <br /><br />And some birth parents are completely capable of good parenting. But some aren't. I think it would be easier to say "If she changes her mind, it's OK" if the child really would be OK. <br /><br />Every situation is different. Of course, hypotheticals don't matter that much, as you and your husband noted. You feel how you feel.Robyn Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10354355040845413097noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7725137789250152370.post-14278788322162107222012-06-03T21:23:15.941-04:002012-06-03T21:23:15.941-04:00I wish all prospective adoptive parents felt as yo...I wish all prospective adoptive parents felt as you did... and do... I truly do. I am reading on a adoption board about the paps expecting to be in the room and the first to hold the baby and even attempt to breastfeed the baby in the hospital right after delivery in front of the birthmother! Total lack of empathy. Blinded by their own wants. I am again anxious to read your next post. Thank you for posting this.I never got to say goodbyehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04599136318267725546noreply@blogger.com