PAGE # 67
Tuesday
12/20/11
Evening
When I imagine the private life of the adoption attorney, it's hard to picture her with any true friends or loved ones. I see instead a perfect sociopath--not the kind that relishes in the physical mutilation of others--but the kind that enjoys manipulating people for nothing more than the exercise of power and control. And adoption is a perfect arena for the execution of such a pathological disposition: all the involved players are likely in some degree of despair, whether in the form of a crisis pregnancy or infertility. Tom and I were in neither of these fragile predicaments, and this afforded us some strength against Shelley's evil, but the attorney would play with us nonetheless.
What was the attorney doing this evening of December 20th, 2011?
One can only imagine. But if she maintained any sort of diary or personal journal, I imagine the entry from that night reads something like this:
Dear Diary,
I was successful in getting Jennifer and Tom to write a $1500 check for Kendra. But it was not without effort. These people are so self-righteous and concerned about what is ethical and fair and other nonsense. I had to really guilt the husband and plead total and utter desperation on Kendra's behalf! Sure, she needs the money for her car and all. But! More importantly: I needed to up the adoptive couple's investment in fighting for this baby. The greater the money spent on this baby, the more time spent with this baby--well, that will improve chances that the couple will behave according to my plan.
Tomorrow I will tell them about the putative father registry. The biological father did indeed sign it--it is one of the most important steps toward him establishing his paternity and is a necessary one to contest this adoption.
In fact, he signed the registry a full 8 days prior to the baby's birth! When I tell Jennifer and Tom tomorrow, it will be a total of 13 days since he signed the registry. Almost two full weeks! They may not have taken the baby home in the first place if they had known this little fact.
I will tell them that I checked with the registry daily--that I've only just learned of this myself. What choice will they have but to believe me? They don't know how quickly (or in this case, slowly) things operate in the office of vital statistics!
Yes, tomorrow I will tell them. And I will handle all their questions and concerns according to my plan.
Remember: I've done over 2,000 adoptions! I'm a nationally recognized leader in this industry! I've made case law!
Cheers to me!
Love myself,
Shelley
December 20th, 2011
Although this journal entry is a construct of my imagination, and is arguably a paranoid take on things (I cannot prove that Shelley knew about the putative father registration earlier than she claimed to know about it), it feels like it captures the essence of what happened.
What was written for sure that same evening included the beginning of an email correspondence between myself and Kendra. At exactly 6:01 pm, I sent Kendra the following:
Hi Kendra!
I set up this email account for us--before I write anything more, just confirm that I've got the right email for you and that you have received this message!
Thanks,
Jennifer :)
After pressing send, I checked the email account constantly. Finally, I breathed a sigh of relief when Kendra wrote back at 6:54 pm:
Got it!
Her reply was only two words--two tiny words!--but I felt better immediately and actually started to break free from my ongoing state of derealization. The promise of ongoing contact with Kendra enabled me to enjoy Baby Lily--finally! I was feeling less guilty about having Kendra's baby because I felt confident we could do this together. I imagined future holidays where Lily's natural family would celebrate alongside us. My fantasy never considered any potential difficulty in this; I did not consider myself the slightest bit presumptuous. Instead, I started to feel confident in the whole adoption situation.
I went to sleep more easily that night, blissfully ignorant of what I would learn the following day.
To Be Continued...
Evening
When I imagine the private life of the adoption attorney, it's hard to picture her with any true friends or loved ones. I see instead a perfect sociopath--not the kind that relishes in the physical mutilation of others--but the kind that enjoys manipulating people for nothing more than the exercise of power and control. And adoption is a perfect arena for the execution of such a pathological disposition: all the involved players are likely in some degree of despair, whether in the form of a crisis pregnancy or infertility. Tom and I were in neither of these fragile predicaments, and this afforded us some strength against Shelley's evil, but the attorney would play with us nonetheless.
What was the attorney doing this evening of December 20th, 2011?
One can only imagine. But if she maintained any sort of diary or personal journal, I imagine the entry from that night reads something like this:
Dear Diary,
I was successful in getting Jennifer and Tom to write a $1500 check for Kendra. But it was not without effort. These people are so self-righteous and concerned about what is ethical and fair and other nonsense. I had to really guilt the husband and plead total and utter desperation on Kendra's behalf! Sure, she needs the money for her car and all. But! More importantly: I needed to up the adoptive couple's investment in fighting for this baby. The greater the money spent on this baby, the more time spent with this baby--well, that will improve chances that the couple will behave according to my plan.
Tomorrow I will tell them about the putative father registry. The biological father did indeed sign it--it is one of the most important steps toward him establishing his paternity and is a necessary one to contest this adoption.
In fact, he signed the registry a full 8 days prior to the baby's birth! When I tell Jennifer and Tom tomorrow, it will be a total of 13 days since he signed the registry. Almost two full weeks! They may not have taken the baby home in the first place if they had known this little fact.
I will tell them that I checked with the registry daily--that I've only just learned of this myself. What choice will they have but to believe me? They don't know how quickly (or in this case, slowly) things operate in the office of vital statistics!
Yes, tomorrow I will tell them. And I will handle all their questions and concerns according to my plan.
Remember: I've done over 2,000 adoptions! I'm a nationally recognized leader in this industry! I've made case law!
Cheers to me!
Love myself,
Shelley
December 20th, 2011
***
What was written for sure that same evening included the beginning of an email correspondence between myself and Kendra. At exactly 6:01 pm, I sent Kendra the following:
Hi Kendra!
I set up this email account for us--before I write anything more, just confirm that I've got the right email for you and that you have received this message!
Thanks,
Jennifer :)
After pressing send, I checked the email account constantly. Finally, I breathed a sigh of relief when Kendra wrote back at 6:54 pm:
Got it!
Her reply was only two words--two tiny words!--but I felt better immediately and actually started to break free from my ongoing state of derealization. The promise of ongoing contact with Kendra enabled me to enjoy Baby Lily--finally! I was feeling less guilty about having Kendra's baby because I felt confident we could do this together. I imagined future holidays where Lily's natural family would celebrate alongside us. My fantasy never considered any potential difficulty in this; I did not consider myself the slightest bit presumptuous. Instead, I started to feel confident in the whole adoption situation.
I went to sleep more easily that night, blissfully ignorant of what I would learn the following day.
To Be Continued...
6 comments:
Just want you to know, I check back everyday for a new entry. Great writing! If it is alright, I would like to put you on my blogroll.
http://firstmomout.wordpress.com/
Thanks and I will be staying tuned!
Leenburke...
Of course! I will be checking out your blog as well. Thanks for reading :)
Jennifer :)
Hi Jennifer- you should check out fosterhood.tumblr.com
The writer there, Rebecca, could probably use some support. Similar situation unfolding there as we speak...
Hi Anon...
I will certainly check it out.
There is a blog post that shows up in my feed, but when I click on it it says it doesn't exist. What happened to it? I was looking forward to your next past. :)
Victoria,
Hi there.
Yes, I initially posted something but reverted back to draft status as I need to revise some of it. I've been super busy with other stuff this month--so hoping to get back to regular blogging soon!
Thanks for stopping by!
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