PAGE # 83
Wednesday
8/21/13
9:45 am
As far as I am aware, the Veronica Brown custody battle is currently in some kind of mediation process. As both parties are under a gag order, there is little information to be had. This is probably best for Veronica, and likely protects her from a media frenzy.
Of course, I am personally breathless waiting to learn the outcome of this case. I have purposefully delayed writing anymore of the Baby Lily narrative. As my readers are already aware, my last several posts, all pertaining to Veronica Brown, represent an unprecedented and sudden shift from the straight narrative form of this blog. At this time, I am going to post something pertaining to our story, but out of our story's narrative order of things, because I would like to share an alternative response to a contested adoption with the adoption community and the general public who is (and all should be) interested in such matters.
The following is the exact communication I wrote to our attorney after learning that the birthfather of Baby Lily was contesting her adoption. New readers of this blog should not assume that Lily was thereafter returned to her birthfather. Adoption law, as it currently stands, has too much room for unethical practice. And neither we nor either biological parent ended up with Baby Lily. I do promise to get on with the Baby Lily story soon, and return to the last chronological point of things, but for now, here are the exact words I wrote to our attorney:
Even now, as I read what I wrote then, I am ashamed of the line, "Our only hope is that he does not want to truly parent this child..."We do NOT want to fight a legal battle with a birth parent who wants his child. Married or not [the attorney thought "our case" was winnable because the birthfather was unwed, and furthermore, the birthmother was married to a different man], it does not sit well with us and we don't even know his side of things. Our only hope is that he does not truly want to parent this child, and is angry about being left out of everything. Otherwise, we don't see how our continued participation in this matter is justified. We may be the best home for Lily, and our hearts are broken for sure, but we need a swift and clear resolution. We are simply devastated for Kendra as well. But we cannot risk losing a child at any later point in time. It would be unfair to Lily and our other two children. Please advise.
After all I have now learned about adoption, I would not wish for anyone's biological parent to not want them. If I could rewrite that sentence now, it would read:
I do not wish for either of Lily's natural parents to relinquish their daughter. But, if the natural father is truly not interested in parenting this child, and is angry about being isolated from this adoption process, well then, that is the only situation in which I see this adoption possibly moving forward.
With the exception of the above revision, and the line "we may be the best home...", I am able to look upon the rest of my original words knowing that I had Lily's best interest in mind, and showed a concern for all the involved parties. I understood immediately that entering into a legal battle with Lily's natural father could never be in her best interest because:
1) Court cases and appeals processes take very long. This would place Lily at risk of having to be removed from our care years into the future.
2) How would we ever explain to Lily that she was adopted because we fought her biological parent in court?
3) Although all the professionals involved in this case thought we were the "best home" for Lily, a family involved in a legal battle, by definition, will endure psychological, financial, and emotional turmoil; therefore, such a home would hardly be a "best home" for anyone.
4) And...how could anyone say we were the "best home" for Lily in the first place? Should we start redistributing the nation's children based upon some person in power identifying better, best, and most best homes?
And now, I am off to Google "Baby Veronica" news and hope I find an update that is truly serving Veronica Brown's best interest, that is morally sound, and is founded on truth, love, and empathy.
Have a great day,
Jennifer :)
