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Dear Lily,

Today marks your 4th birthday. While it's hard to comprehend the passage of four years since our short time with you, so little seems to change in the land of adoption.

I still see stories of babies stolen from biological fathers in the name of adoption.

I still see adopted children treated like objects in the popular media. For instance, just today, a story had gone viral on the web (a video actually) of a new baby (soon to be adopted) placed beneath the family Christmas tree for the older "siblings" to find. Like a present. An early holiday surprise. Others deemed this a charming introduction of the new family member, but I squirmed with discomfort upon discovering this in my news feed.

I still wonder about "Baby" Veronica, who is, like you, no longer a baby.

I still wonder about your biological family.

I still wonder about you.

Where are you? Are you still alive? I count the years until I even have the chance of finding out your fate. I count in fractions. This is 4 out of 18. Surely, at age 18, you might connect to your biological family? Maybe I will see your photo on your natural mom's twitter account? Or some other form of social media, yet to be invented. I check her online activity sometimes, like a benevolent stalker searching for some sign of you.

I still wonder: What do they call you now?

I still write, trying to unravel the mystery of our intersecting lives.

May you be blessed with only love, health, and happiness on your fourth birthday. 



Vikki Freeman said...

I so pray she is happy and healthy and loved. And I do pray that you find her one day. Have you thought of contacting her mom to ask if she has seem her or heard anything? Or do you just think it's better to wait?

Jay Iyer said...

Hi Jennifer,

I feel like you, in a lot of ways, only I have a bit more personal contact with Nina's family. Her much older half-sister keeps in touch with me and texts from time to time. I never ask about Nina, but I like hearing from her sister because it makes me feel connected to Nina. I figure if she is not safe, her sister will say something. So, I am kind of like your "benevolent stalker" analogy, only I pray for "no news" because I have rationalized that if Nina's mother has asked her family not to share news of her with me, then they will only do so if there is danger and they need my help. It has been 2 years since I have had much word of Nina beyond knowing she is alive.

I hope to read the rest of your story some day. Thanks for reading my comment, and my very best to you and Lily,


Vikki Freeman said...

I still think of all of these adoptions too. And all the others. It's almost Veronica's birthday now. She is almost old enough to find herself on google. And that will shatter the adoption community again. I do hope you find Lily. I too would like to know her fate.

by Jennifer said...

LOL--just checking in now on little girl's birthday. I've entertained this fantasy, of course, and I did have contact with her natural mom later in the story (that I didn't finish on blog), but we haven't spoken in years now. My sense is that she was not interested in maintaining a relationship with us; certainly, the adoption attorney advised her not to (this I heard direct from the attorney myself).

by Jennifer said...

Hi Jay,

Wondering if you have any updates regarding Nina? Hope you are well and Happy Holidays!


by Jennifer said...

And Vikki,

About Veronica--I think of her all the time too. We will hear what happens someday--I believe this for sure. These kids are more than 25 % of the way to age 18. Cannot imagine the psychological pain Veronica will endure when she starts putting the puzzle of her life together. Just devastating.