# 42: MAMA, A RAINBOW?

PAGE # 42

Friday

12/16/11
Approximately 11:30 am 


I was listening to Anna's story when TJ, our 16 year-old, called my cell phone.  I forgot to turn the ringer off, and the ring tone for my son sounds like a pulsating alarm.  It's truly an offending noise--one that throbs in your ears even after the phone has stopped ringing.  I knew TJ was feeling left out, but I quickly quieted the phone without answering his call.  I didn't want to interrupt Kendra and her family.

"That was our son calling," I explained.  "I'll call him back in a little bit.  He wanted to come here too, but we didn't think it would be appropriate."

As soon as these words were out of my mouth, I realized that not bringing my kids to meet Kendra seemed inappropriate as well.  If Kendra's baby was going to be a part of our family, it seemed strange for Kendra to not meet our kids.  But maybe she would feel too intruded upon?  I didn't know the correct course of action, because really, when the starting point is so unnatural--that point being the plan of separating an infant from her mother--all subsequent events are just bound to feel somehow off.

"What do you think, Kendra?" I asked.  "Should we bring TJ and Sara to the hospital so you guys can all meet each other?"

Kendra stated that it would be fine.

"And my little guy will love playing with your little girl," she added.

This plan had me feeling more at ease.  The idea of all our children together felt good--like it would help seal a connection between the two families.

"TJ is a great kid," I told Kendra.  "You should hear him sing...he's amazing...wait!  I have a video.  I'm terrible with making videos, but I do have this one from a couple of years ago."

Without thinking about the song's content, I pulled out my iPhone and located the video of TJ singing a song entitled, "Mama, A Rainbow."  But as soon as I pressed play and heard the opening lyrics, I felt like a total idiot.  Luckily, the nurse returned and I got to stop the recording after a brief moment.  

"Everybody out this time!" the nurse instructed.  "I've got an exam to do here."

We waited in the hallway.  I had only wanted to share one of TJ's performances, but that song!  That song was crazy to play given the circumstances.  It wasn't like I had a large selection of video recordings to choose from (this was the only one!); still, it felt as if it were a song scripted for Kendra (and not for some long ago Broadway musical).  And the lyrics, though fitting, seemed to mock the young woman.  I put my phone in my purse and kept it there for the remainder of our visit.


To view the video of TJ, please click here: