# 12: BIO DAD & ME: ONLY 3 DEGREES OF SEPARATION ON FACEBOOK

PAGE # 12


Tuesday

12/6/11

5:22 pm

I read through the document entitled Background Information on Prospective Adoptive Child.


The forms were completed by the birth mother, as indicated by her signature on the last page.  The majority of information included the known medical history on both sides of the baby's biological family, and thankfully, there was nothing significant.  Everyone from grandparents to cousins sounded healthy enough.


Of greater interest, at least to myself, included the following details (caveats?):

1. The birth mother, the birth father, and each of their respective extended families reside within a half hour of us.  That seemed a little too close for comfort.
2. The birth mother's dad (i.e. the maternal grandfather) is a private investigator.  I figured he already knew all about us.  From our credit rating to our SAT scores.
3. The birth dad did not look too good on paper (heavy drinker, dishonorable discharge from the marines, suspended driver's license, allegedly punched birth mom in stomach during pregnancy, etc.).  I wasn't sure what to fear more:  the man himself or his genetic code.  I considered all the craziness branching across my family tree, decided I turned out alright despite the DNA, and felt somewhat relieved.  I was, however, still a tad apprehensive about bio dad--the man himself--especially given the geographical proximity of our homes.

I tried to alleviate any paranoia by conducting a thorough investigation of my own; indeed, my Google search skills are quite impressive.  Although the last names of everybody noted in the paperwork were crossed out in heavy black ink, I was able to uncover bio dad's surname in a matter of minutes.  I will not bore the reader with the details of this process, but will reveal that Facebook made much of my sleuthing possible.  In fact, I even learned that bio dad's sister and I share a mutual friend on Facebook!


If the reader happens to know this author's identity, and moreover is a Facebook friend, then yes, it is possible that the mutual friend is YOU.  It's approximately a 1 in 375 chance.  Not great odds, but better than most.  Before you click back over to Facebook, ready to scroll down your friend list in a fit of curiosity, allow me to wrap up this post:


I found bio dad on Facebook and some other social networking sites.  Many of his pictures were open to the public.  In almost all of them, he was seen holding either a rifle or a hunting knife (a.k.a. before and after the slaughter pics).  I am aware that this is sport for a great lot of the American people.  But...


I ran to Tom.  I would definitely not say anything in front of the kids--no sense getting them nervous about what was probably just my tendency to overreact--But...


I told him, and not too quietly, "We need to talk.  Argue.  Whatever.  AGAIN!"